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Some nights I can barely get five to six hours of sleep. My mind is racing with thoughts about writing ideas, being an author, podcast host, and then second-guessing myself if I should be going in a different direction as I’m fearful of what lies ahead. Even though the sun is shining on me brightly, and I can feel his presence within me, that gives me hope to believe that I’m heading in the right direction. My life has been full of surprises, failures, tragedy, and triumph while still seemingly never giving up when beaten down.

This journey takes its course to the pathway leading to establishing myself as an entrepreneur, which brings an uncomfortable feeling similar to wearing a nasal mask at night. It’s the darkness that brings the anxiety of the unknown to test my hope and faith to stay in the light, as the evening shall pass like the night. In the mornings, I receive my data from the night before, and the results show promising signs of my health improving.

Every journey starts with a first step that takes you to a new beginning. Every morning I’m provoked by my enemy to get up early, anywhere between 5 am – 6 am, to start my day. There’s a feeling in my mind that pushes my body out of bed because I believe I have to be doing something to feel productive.

Maybe it’s the self-determination to achieve a dream that feels the presence of time is now to go after it all. There is nothing I think excites me more than finding this space of becoming an entrepreneur. Setting my days out of the week to manage writing, producing my podcast, and being a dad to my two children and husband makes my days even more fruitful. They are now back to online hybrid learning for school.

About 5 hours each day before school ends to get as much done as they need my attention. Sometimes I feel as though God wants me right where he needs me to be. For example, we have no babysitter, and my parents can only help but so much as they are getting older and are limited to some of the things they can do. The pandemic has caused millions of people’s situation to change and commit themselves to new home life.

Others, such as myself with health problems, had to go on temporary disability and resign from work. I decided to focus on achieving some daily personal goals that I’ve been so focused on the creative work that I started mixing up my days and arriving to doctor appointments a day before the actual date. For example, last week, I had an MRI appointment for an exam on my brain, and when I had arrived, the nurse behind the glass informed me that my appointment is for the next day. I didn’t mind getting up early, but I was embarrassed that I mixed my days up and mad that I put the wrong date in my calendar.

When I don’t relax and let things flow, I get wrapped up emotionally and lose control of the moment and myself. I’m trying to learn how to relax and enjoy the journey. Although you may feel as though you are in an uncomfortable situation that seems fearful, it could be the best thing for you to lead into a promising future. It requires patience, perseverance, faith, hope, and resilience. This new birth is Just like my air machine. I’m going to let things flow with the situation. The experience will help bring a change to show that we can open our minds to receive from the source a positive and optimistic future by letting go of what is not healthy.

“Our dreams have no timeline. So believe in yourself and let the light on the inside shine on the outside.” – Billy Porter, American Actor.

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